Shoutignon Blanc Wine

Decant the Drama.

Why waste time with deep breathing exercises? We've bottled the solution. The Shoutignon Blanc™ is expertly crafted to be uncorked the moment you see an incoming message typed entirely in capital letters.

Its sharp, acidic notes are a perfect match for the customer's tone, while its surprisingly smooth finish reminds you that this, too, shall be resolved. The ultimate goal is what it says on the bottle: Crisp, clear communication. This wine is just the liquid courage to help you get there.

(For a more permanent solution that doesn't require a corkscrew, see Totebot.)